Timmy responds: I really like her but I dont know what to do!!

Dear Malice,

There is a girl I know and I took her to the movies. I like her a lot, but I don't know how to tell her, because she thinks we are going to the movies as friends. I would like to go as a little more than just friends. Also, last time we went to the movies she kept rubbing my elbow with hers. Should I put my arm around her or what?

-Clueless Lover Boy

Dear Grow-a-Pair,

You’re a little bitch.

Seriously, my balls haven’t even dropped yet and I’ve got enough of them to put my arm around a girl.

And what is this shit about “liking her a lot.” Are you in the first grade or something? The only time you should say those words is in the following context:

“I like her a lot... when she tugs my junk.”

Like the last time I was at the movies with a sweet little gurlie. We were watching Up while I was getting it up. Maybe you should get like me and whip it out next time you’re in the theater. I think then she’ll understand that you "like her a lot.”

What the hell, there’s no point. You’re a hopeless pussy. You’ll be twice my age before you even get a finger in, prude.

word.
Timmy