Your Father responds: Help! I'm having sex dreams about my dad!

Dear Malice,

I am having these really weird dreams. They start off with me flirting with an older gentleman and then it evolves quickly into heated sexual passion. The thing that is really disgusting about it is that the older gentlemen switches personalities from random strangers inevitably into my father. I'm really upset about this whole "Electra-complex" thing and it rudes me out. I always wake up when it starts getting too heated and then I feel really ashamed for having dreamt it.

I have a good relationship with my father, although sometimes I wish that he would pay more attention to other aspects of my life other than my schooling and career. Is there something wrong with me? I am happy in my relationship with my boyfriend, I have lots of friends who care about me, I'm doing very well in school, etc., but I don't know why these dreams are happening all of a sudden. PLEASE HELP! Where can I go to seek more answers?

-Freaked out by dreams

Dear schnookums,

Um…that’s very flattering and all and I really don’t know what to say. I’m honestly dumbfounded. This is incredibly uncomfortable. I never would have imagined you’d have those thoughts about me.

Listen, you know that I love you very much and I think you’re very attractive – its really not that – but I just can’t have sex with you.

The reasons are many, but I don’t want to belabor the point. In my life I’d had to say no to many women who have lusted over me and I know how painful it can be for them. From time to time, I even have to say no to your mother’s advances, so I know how to be sensitive to family members’ desires.

The first problem is that we’re really just not fit for each other; I’m extroverted, you’re introverted. I’m into science, you just want to read all day. There’s really no way for us to build something meaningful out of that.

Second of all, I am married and one of the promises that your mother made me commit to was not to sleep with any other women. It’s very important to her. I’m sure Billy has made you agree to something similarly draconian.

But last of all (and, really, most of all), I would hate if things became awkward between us. I really love the relationship – the friendship – we have and it would be such a shame to lose that. I promise to care about more than just your school and career, if that’s what it takes.

Anyway, no hard feelings. I’ll pick you up after soccer practice!
Your Father